When You’re Nobody’s Valentine

valentine heart with roses

Valentine’s Day falls in the middle of winter when many people struggle against winter blues or depression. It can be especially hard to cope when everyone around you is being presented with flowers, cards candy or a special dinner out by a significant other. What can you do to get through the feelings of disconnection and loneliness that being nobody’s Valentine can bring?

What is love anyway? We have all heard people exclaim: I just love purple; I love cats! I love lasagna; I adore hats! When people say they love…. They generally mean that the thing they are talking about makes them feel really good. However, love can cause pain; can make you sad, angry, or frustrated when it isn’t working out. Rather than allowing the absence of a romantic interest to bring us down, we can fight back by looking outwards.

A dog guide or even a pet can ease loneliness by providing affection and companionship. Thinking of others, noticing someone who might enjoy receiving a show of affection can brighten their day and also benefit you by being the instrument of cheer. Do you have a friend or coworker who is also not in a relationship just now? Maybe you could invite them to share a meal out or at your home. Maybe you could purchase a bag of chocolate or candy hearts to slip on to their desk or in to their mail box. A small token of affection or appreciation of how much their friendship means to you doesn’t even have to cost money. It could be a note or email that lets them know you think they are terrific or a real sweetheart. Valentine’s doesn’t have to be limited to a love interest but can be expanded to include friendship. This kind of love grows the more it is shared.

There is also something else you can do. Remember that to love others, we must love ourselves. Is there something that you enjoy that you can do for yourself? If you treat yourself as well as you would treat a friend you want to cheer up, then you are being a good friend to yourself. You are worthy of love, so show it to yourself and everyone around you. You will soon start feeling valued for who you are and kick those winter blues.

Here are some ideas about gifts to cheer your friends and family.

And be sure to read this post about unconditional love.